I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well... are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me, too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me, too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" He said, "Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me, too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me, too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915"?"
I said, "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.
—Emo Phillips (http://cmgm.stanford.edu/~lkozar/EmoPhillips.html)
